Ghosts?
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Rob and Celia are in a tough session with their therapist, Carolyn, following their holiday trip together to Celia’s family. Rob is angry that Celia waited until therapy to share her insights with him about the trip; Celia still fears Rob will tell her what to do.
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“This was why I went home
with you, so we could begin to make decisions together on this stuff,” Rob
said. “I don’t want to tell you
what to do. I just want to help. I feel like we’re moving backwards
right now.” Rob was actually
shaking and took a sip of water from a paper cup on the table.
Carolyn stepped in. “Celia, you explained very honestly
about your reasons for keeping this inside until our session. Rob, thank you for your response. There’s a lot going on between you two
right now. Rob, what are you
feeling?”
Rob drained his water cup
and put it down. “Hopeless. We’re not getting anywhere.”
Carolyn turned to Celia
expectantly, silently asking the same question. “I feel bad that Rob is upset, but this feels OK to me, like
we are getting somewhere. I think this is good.”
“What’s good about it?”
Carolyn asked her.
“Because if Rob is angry
about this, that means he cares about what I’m thinking,” Celia said. “He really wants to know, not to
control me, but to help.”
“I don’t get why you
didn’t already know that,” Rob said.
Carolyn stepped in
again. “Rob, I’d like you to ask
Celia that question again, but turn toward her and try to ask it
differently. Try to soften your
words. That will help her.”
Rob could be impatient
with Carolyn’s little psycho-babbly exercises. With a smirk at Carolyn, who knew this, he shifted on the
sofa toward Celia. “Celia, we have
been doing good work here. We got
through your Christmas concert just fine without Carolyn’s help. Why are you still afraid I want to
control you? I don’t want to
control you. I just want to – love
you.” He turned to Carolyn for
validation that he had done this well, and she nodded her support.
“Celia, how did those
words feel?” Carolyn said.
“They felt good. Like he means it.”
“Why wouldn’t I mean it?”
Rob said, anger rising again.
“Rob, I want you to slow
down for a moment. Perhaps Celia’s
reactions to you on this point don’t actually have anything to do with you,”
Carolyn said.
Rob looked at Carolyn,
confused.
Reader, you determine what
comes next. What is the reason
this has nothing to do with Rob?
